Predictability Featuring Paris Hilton

Some movies are so utterly predictable. But, I think that's why we love them. It's always good to know that a romantic comedy always ends with the guy getting the girl. It's comforting. However, when it comes to a genre like a thriller/scary movie, it becomes very annoying and redundant. For instance, the basement of a house is pitch black with a huge staircase and the lights don't work. What's the only logical thing to do in this scenario? Walk down those stairs with no protection or anything. Oh, and because this is a horror movie, don't call the cops. For instance, the movie "House of Wax" has like 5 or 6 (I don't really remember how many characters were in this group... I only remember Paris Hilton) young adults who drive into a town needing help with their car. Of course, they come here because a creepy, older gentleman tells them he can help them with their car. I mean, who wouldn't trust a man like that who happens to be wandering near the forrest where they are all at. And, being the pretty, blonde girl in the group, Paris has to die in it. Big shocker there- Did not see that one coming. Probably one of the only thriller movies I have seen that is so unpredictable that I need to rethink life is Paranormal Activity. Just the thought of it is making me turn around right now as I type this and see if there's an paranormal activity going on. Much like Paris Hilton's music career, "House of Wax" had a predictable ending. So NOT hot.

Prom!

Call me a negative person, but going back to my school to register for senior year makes me so excited to graduate and never see these people again. I was actually excited to go to see everyone at registration, but the minute that I stood in that horrific 30 minute line, I remembered why I was so happy that school ended for the summer. I did make small talk to people...and just like any typical movie about a girl in high school, there's always that one guy that you will just never get over. However, unlike the movies or sitcoms, we'll never be anything because we're in different groups. Which brings me to another thought: I'm sorry, but in reality I don't think that the popular boy would ever go for the lesser girl... I also don't actually think that football players make bets about transforming the nerdy girl into a hot one (To NBC: This could be a reality show called "Betting On The Girl" and the winner gets like one million dollars... but back to my point). Would I absolutely love it if this one particular guy asked me to prom? Words cannot describe how badly I would loose my voice from screaming yes so much. But, unfortunately, that's not reality. So on the topic of school dances, here's a little story. Last year, I was feeling super confident. I kept saying to myself "You know what, Sara?! This is your year. You'll get asked to homecoming easily!" I got a note during class saying to come to the office. Of course, I kept thinking that there was no other reason for me to need to go to the office than getting asked to homecoming. I was prepping myself on the way to the office (choosing my facial expressions, how I'd say yes...etc.). I finally got to the office and sat down. I had mentally prepared myself and honestly, I thought I was going to get asked because I've seen weirder askings happen. I finally got called in and my guidance counselor looks at me and says "We have a problem with your classes for next year, but I'll fix it right now"... Disappointment at its best, ladies and gents.

College Essays

How can someone possibly write an essay to apply to college without sounding extremely cheesy? For instance, a prompt for a college says to write about an experience that changed your life. Well, first of all, I'm only 17...so not much has changed my life so far. What do they want me to write about? Going to my first rated "R" movie in theaters? Or getting my wisdom teeth out? I don't really understand what colleges deem as "life-changing" for a 17 year-old. Do they want me to write about the time that I babysat and it was "extremely rewarding because of the experience of responsibility I gained"? I put that in italicized quotes because I was saying it in a goody-two-shoes voice. Basically, when writing an essay, you can go two main routes: A.) Talk about how a certain thing taught you about life/yourself; or B.) Try to make them feel bad for you by talking about a hard time in your life. For the second one, I am writing about how I could never make any school plays that I've tried out for. In reality, I'm 95% sure that the board of admissions for a college never actually thoroughly reads through these essays that we spent weeks or even months writing. I wish I could be like Ron Swanson in the way of writing essays because if I was I would just write the following (read in Ron Swanson voice):
My name is Sara. I am a strong candidate for your school because I am hard-working, a good eater, and a good person. Please consider this when making a decision to let me in.

The Great Gatsby

I love "The Great Gatsby" so much. Whether it be the book or the movie, I really enjoy it. In the movie, Seeing the tension in the room when Daisy tells Gatsby "You always look so cool" is just one of those "Ahhh shit" moments. Speaking of which, there are so many of those moments when you just want to scream at what is happening during that scene. If anyone deserves a good punch to the neck, it's probably Daisy. Definitely an A+ in my book. Oh and please just give Leonardo DiCaprio his academy award already.

America's Next Top Model

I think one of the only reasons that the Style Network channel is still on TV is because of the "America's Next Top Model" rerun marathons. Honestly, I could re-watch those episodes 1000 times and still be surprised by who ends up being the winner. I realize that Tyra Banks is the host of the show, but she seems a bit self centered. For instance, when she was being the photographer for the girls during a photoshoot, I swear all she did was mention how she was the photographer and how she would pose for the shoot. It was like "Oh! That's a great pose! I would do it the other way though... And I'm the photographer for you! YOU'RE WELCOME!" I just can't help but want one of the models to ask if Tyra ever modeled before. Tyra would probably loose her shit. In the newest season, they have guys vs. girls now. I must admit, I am enjoying it. I'm pretty positive that about 65% of the guys are gay, but I still love it. The thing that does bother me about this show sometimes is that everybody's back stories are always so depressing. It's like one person will say "My mom left when I was younger and I lived only with my dad" and then the next will have to one-up that person by saying "I've been homeless since I was 10." These contestants make it so hard not to like them because you'll end up feeling like an asshole for liking the girl/guy who was raised by their grandmother over the girl/guy who is homeless. I, of course, have picked my favorite. His name is Phil and he's probably the coolest guy I've ever seen. Rocking the beard, if I do say so myself. You go, Phil Sullivan. Of course, all of the judges think he's a weird guy because of his clothes...beard...behavior...have I mentioned his awesome beard yet?

Eye Contact

I don't fit in at baseball games. The more I go, the more I begin to wonder why I'm there. I love going and watching, but I just get bored way too easily. I also hate loud noises and crowds. I'm pretty sure if I was put on the big screen like all of the other fans, I'd be that one person not paying attention while asleep or on their phone. I'm still a bit scarred from when I was 12 years old and ran up to get a ball from a player and he made eye contact with me and then threw it to a 7 year old. I'm sorry, you made eye contact with me, not that 7 year old jerk. Ever since, I've had trouble trusting baseball players... I mean I just saw someone get hit with a bat in the crowd. I've learned that if I ever date a baseball player and we break up, he will most likely throw a bat at my head. However what I do thoroughly enjoy is looking at strangers and seeing how they act and look. I just saw a legitimate southern bell posing in from of her much-older (Husband? Boyfriend? Lover? Sugar daddy?). I think my true passion in life is taking pictures of me with one of these people without them knowing. Enjoy this picture of me waving to someone, but it looks like I'm trying to touch the woman's hair in front of me.

Impressions

Making a good impression is always a good thing to do when meeting someone new (obviously). From my many, many (embarrassing) years of watching "The Bachelor", I have learned that if you don't make the right impression, then it could be disasterous. For instance, a girl once completely got wasted and gave the bachelor a lap dance. She was sent home that night. Now, here are a few of my tips on good impressions: 1.) Eye Contact- too much eye contact comes off as you're trying to sexually seduce them using your intense starring; 2.) If handshaking is involved, a nice, firm handshake is in order- By this, I mean you want to establish you're the alpha-male so that the other lions will back off and let you be with your dead antelope carcass; 3.) If going on a date, try to avoid alcohol- Alcohol usually can make one spill their secrets if the right questions are asked with the right amount of the toxic drink (I mean, you don't want to tell them about that time you were babysitting a little boy and accidentally smacked his head on a shelf and didn't tell anyone, do you? (for the record, he was all good)); And 4.) Figure out whether the person wants a handshake or a hug- You don't want to go in for a hug and be rejected with a cold handshake do you? And also on this note, if you are hugging, trying to avoid the awkward, long hug because it's uncomfortable for the both of you and you know it. And again, to leave on a positive note, here is a picture of me doing my best Robert De Niro impression while on a ride at disneyland.