Hipsters, Italians, Vespas, and Bikes

It's been a while since I made my last blog entry. I've been really busy, but now I feel like there's a major issue I need to talk about: Bikes.
I hate when I'm driving my car and a bike rider is near me. I especially hate when they go into my lane. New flash: YOU ARE NOT FAST ENOUGH TO GO IN THE NORMAL CAR LANE. Unless you can bike at an average speed of 50 MPH, you have no business getting all up in my lane. I might be a cynic about bikes because I naturally hate them, but I don't believe that they should have the same rights as a normal car. I'm not going to lie, there have been so many times when I have been SO tempted to open my window and scream "Hey biker! Get a Car!" (I'm not very assertive I'll admit).
Bikers aren't only irritating to me when I'm driving, but also when I'm walking. If you can sue someone for hitting you with a car, then you should be able to sue someone for hitting you with a bike. If bike riders want all of the same rights as cars (AKA biking in my lane and thinking they're as fast as me), then they should be eligible for people to sue if they hit you. My brother almost got hit by a bike while he was at his college walking to class, and I'm not going to lie it would have been hysterical if he was hit. If he was hit, I would call my lawyer (if I had one) so quickly that the biker wouldn't have known what hit them (PUN!). While I'm ranting about bikes, there's one more point I'd like to bring up: If you own a Vespa, you are by NO means a motorcycle rider. If you are proud of the fact that you drive a Vespa, then you are probably some hipster who doesn't want to go by the status quo. And by this logic, riding one of those old fashioned 3 wheel bikes doesn't make you special. It makes you look ridiculous. The only time that people should be seen driving Vespas are A. a person in an Indie Movie. B. If you are Zooey Deschanel. C. If you are Italian.