iPhones, Tweets, and Rude People

Hey all. I haven't been able to post much because of school starting and stuff. I recently went to oregon to go drop my brother off at college. It poured like there was no tomorrow. I'm pretty sure the entire state of Oregon should be flooded by now. Anyways, I have been watching this absolutely hilarious show on youtube called "The Most Popular Girls in School". I highly suggest it. It's amazing. Here is the link to the first episode http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-STtD96doeo
I also recently (by recently I mean 2 hours ago) cracked my iphone screen. I asked my mom to pick me up a bumper case from the Apple store today. She got it and before she could give it to me, I accidentally dropped my screen STRAIGHT ON THE DAMN GROUND. I can still use it and stuff, but every time I text, I can feel tiny shards of glass working their way deeply into my fingers. Those little shits. The more I think about it, the more I realize that Apple probably makes all of their money off of new iPhones because their's shattered. In fact, after I shattered my phone, I tweeted "Just cracked my iPhone screen... Didn't see that one coming." I haven't gotten any favorites or retweets yet.... I swear if I could retweet myself, I could. The only tweet I've gotten favorited lately is when I wrote how a boy called me unattractive... He compared my looks to the Lakers basketball team. He later told me that they sucked this year.

A Duck with False Confidence

Sometimes, I feel like when I write a post, no one really means it. For instance, I'm not sure if an actual person pressed that "1+" button to say they liked my post or I accidentally pressed it, giving myself a false sense of confidence. I really like to think someone out there is reading my stuff and thinking "Golly! I enjoy this satirical style of life!" I mean, I don't have any followers yet... but you know what they say : "You're never alone without followers on a blogging site as long as you're with God" Well, anyways, I'm going to keep this short since I don't feel like typing and I'm not feeling too witty right now. Here's a picture of a duck without a beak.

Rejection

If anyone knows rejection pretty well, it's me. I've been rejected for multiple plays. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I've been rejected from my school's comedy sports team not one, not two, not three, but four times. Yep. Every year in high school. I'm a senior now, so you'd think that I might get a chance doing something, but I don't. Did I cry over this? Yes. Am I going to let this affect my school year? Hopefully not. I realize that this post might not be very entertaining, but I need to vent. Who better to vent to than a bunch of strangers? I could really go for some bacon right now.

Food and Other Shenanigans

You know what I miss a lot about being a young child? Being able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining an ounce. Nowadays, if I eat a cookie, 5 pounds goes straight to my ass, and not in a good way. Little kids are so lucky in that sense. Even if they're bigger, when they grow up, they thin out. And the best is my doctor says some of me is just "baby fat". Baby fat? Seriously? When I finally get out of the "baby fat" stage, I better look like Heidi Klum. Everyone at my school is so tall and thin with small boobs. And then you see me. 4'10, not the thinnest, and with boobs. Sometimes I ever trick myself into thinking that I'm on the show "Punk'd" (even though it ended) and I look for a camera and softly murmur to myself "Oh you, Ashton and your silly little pranks." People are always telling me that looking different is a good thing... but the truth is, no one really wants to be different in high school. Let's be honest. Yes, once you get into the real world, being different is awesome. Hell, let your freak flag fly. However, I'd compare high school to prison in some ways. For instance, you cannot leave when you want to. There's a reason that everyone in prisons have the same uniform: To blend in- INDIVIDUALS WILL BE SHOT. Take note of this. I mean, of course, in prison, you won't be shunned. But, you will be taken in as someone's prison bitch. Anyways, sometimes I try to stare at pictures of food and pretend I'm eating them. This does not work, however, because usually I end up biting my tongue. I mean seriously... HOW DELICIOUS DOES THIS LOOK? I NEED THIS RECIPE.  LIKE YESTERDAY.

Only in New York

Okay so I hate to be very general here, but New Yorkers are just so mean. I walked into one on a crosswalk (which by the way I am not surprised that people get hit by cars all the time considering no one obeys the traffic laws) and I swear she made a disgusted noise and pulled out her gun. She didn't really take a gun, but I bet she would have... If she had one. I did see the play "Book of Mormon", which rocked. My favorite song saying the words fuck you God in an African language. Raunchiest play I've ever seen, yet my absolute favorite. Highly recommend this hilariously inappropriate play. I went to the famous "Sarabeth" restaurent and let me tell you that they do not card. I ordered a mimosa and I look like I'm 12. It was pretty cool... Until I realized that I don't like mimosas. Staying in a hotel room with my 19 year old brother and my 21 year old sister is not a walk in the park (which in New York within the past year has risen 27%... So watch out). I have to share a bed the size of a newborn baby with my sister. I've woken up in the middle of the night from her kicking me because I rolled over on top of her. I really do enjoy New York, but that damn subway makes me want to cry. It's too crowded and hot. It's tough when you're sitting there, all comfortably, and an old woman walks onto the subway and you have that internal argument on whether to give it up. On a positive note, here's a picture of my mimosa.